Out of Sync

I feel like I’m destined to live my life in reverse order of everyone else.

I’ve been a big fan of astrology since I was younger. I put no stock in horoscopes–I believe that psychics exists but I don’t believe that anyone can predict a person’s day to day life based on his or her sign. When I was 11 or 12, I got a mini astrology book for my birthday. I’m a Capricorn, and most of the personality traits fit me perfectly. But none of that is what I’ve remembered from that book.

Sixth grade was a terrible year for me. I was being teased mercilessly at school, to the point where I spent the last two months of the year doing my work from home. I ended up attending a private school for the next two years–I learned that sometimes, just walking away from a bad situation is the best thing you can do for yourself. But I digress. Needless to say, I was feeling alienated from my peers. I just didn’t get why I was being singled out. Sure I loved school, and I cared about doing well–but I also liked *NSync, and playing with makeup, going to the movies, and all the other typical middle school pursuits. The little astrology book said something to this effect: Capricorn ages in reverse. As others grow more settled in their ways, Capricorn becomes more youthful and carefree. Capricorns truly come into their own in the second part of life.

Those lines stopped me cold. Finally, an explanation! Maybe it wasn’t my fault that I had trouble relating to kids my age–I was just ahead of my time. That stayed buried in the recesses of my memory until recently. I find myself branching out and wanting to do many of the things that I didn’t before, and taking life less seriously. My classmates agonize over class rank while I think “Eh, it’s just a grade.” I’ve never seen the appeal in parties but I want to go to a lounge for my  next birthday. But it goes the other way too. Most folks start dating & sexing in high school and don’t get married until they’re approaching 30. I started dating at age 18, and am engaged at 23 to the same guy I’ve been dating since I was 20. It seems that while everyone else is starting to care more and more about what other people think, I’m starting to care less and less.

This is purely anecdotal, of course. But I still feel like I’m destined to swim upstream.

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